Fermilab Finds New Elementary Particle

BATAVIA, IL – Last Thursday, Fermilab researchers announced that after smashing a lot of things together moving really really fast, they finally discovered a new fundamental particle. Scientists have decided to call the particle a “brickon.”

“At first we didn’t know what to make of this particle,” said Fermilab scientist Carl Jacobs. “In the past, we have observed entities that look like larger, differently colored versions of brickons, but this is the first time we have truly observed the particle in its fundamental state.”

Brickons generally come in five colors, red, blue, yellow, white, and black, but have been seen more rarely in a much wider variety of shades, ranging from mahogany to transparent green.

The most common combination of brickons is when eight red brickons come together to form a structure known as a “red brick.” As it turns out, brickons can be useful in many other forms because of their unique properties, namely that they come together and break apart so easily.

Although we don’t realize it, brickons make up many things in the world around us. Photographic evidence exists that the Statue of Liberty, the Taj Mahal, The Eiffel Tower, and many other landmarks around the world are actually made of brickons. In cinema, most of the spaceships from the Star Wars saga as well as Hogwarts Castle from the Harry Potter series are all made of brickons. Some movie theaters are even made of brickons. Most shocking of all, evidence exists that people are actually made of brickons.

“None of us imagined how widespread the existence of the brickon is until we knew that it existed,” commented Jacobs. “Now that we know they exist, I wonder how tall a tower could be built with them…”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.