Hundreds of Freshmen Play Essential NU Drinking Game

EVANSTON – Freshmen passed out in droves at this year’s Wildcat Welcome, and campus administrators suspect that some type of drinking game was afoot during the lecture.

Stacy Herman, the event coordinator, said the drinking game had a simple premise.

β€œThe fact of the matter is that taking a shot every time we said ‘peer pressure,’ ‘disappointment,’ or ‘started failing all my classes’ is a complete disappointment to the University and a very clear cave-in to peer pressure. I would not be surprised if the members of our incoming class begins to fail all of their classes if they continue such behavior.”

Some students stick to the claim that they were not drunk. Daniel Marrison, a SESP freshman, said β€œI wish I could claim drinking as an excuse for passing out. Really. It was just that boring.”

In related news, Wildcat Welcome administrators are in the process of ordering breathalyzers for next year.

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