EVANSTON — After critics described it as insensitive, hateful, and absolutely putrid, area skinhead Steve “the Artful Aryan” Sanger just cannot believe his latest carved swastika is receiving such negative feedback.
“I really thought it was my best one yet,” said Sanger, referring to the piece of Nazi symbolism that he recently etched into the side of a local car. “I thought it really captured the message of white supremacy and superiority that the National Socialist German Worker’s Party strives to instill in the ignorant modern world, and people just blew up over it.”
At first, Sanger was pleased with the amount of attention his work was receiving, but when he realized the reviews and comments about his art were consistently negative, his excitement quickly gave way to disappointment.
“This was supposed to be my breakthrough,” said Sanger, who had worked tirelessly to make sure that each branch of the symbol was of equal length and angle. “Ever since the time my buddies and I went downtown and had emblems of the Third Reich tattooed across our chests, art has been my life. It sure sucks to see all of these people not respond to it like you hope.”
Other artistic efforts from Sanger, who assured reporters that he hates Jews, [African-Americans], [Mexicans], [Asians], gypsies, and [homosexuals] with equal passion, have also gone without acclaim. A recent piece titled “Kill all the ****ing *********s” was reamed by local authorities, and “Eat my white **** you ****ing pieces of ignorant ****” received less-than-favorable reviews. (The piece on the car was similarly titled, “Take this **** you **** ****-ass *****.”)
Despite this most recent setback to his artistic career, Sanger was adamant that he would return to the scene sometime down the road. “This just means that I have to be bigger and better in the future,” he said, scratching the head that he shaved bare as a symbol of his social rebellion. “You guys just wait—you ain’t seen nothing yet.”