WASHINGTON — Thousands of teenage girls marched through the streets of the nation’s capital this week, chanting and displaying signs declaring, “We Belieb in Immigration Reform!” The protesters demanded amnesty and more accessible pathways to citizenship for immigrants who simply came to the United States for a better life.
However, hardworking pop star Justin Bieber has jeopardized his opportunity to remain in the country after he allegedly egged his neighbor’s house. If convicted of a felony, he could be deported. Bieber’s prospects only diminished after he was arrested the very next week for drag racing while under the influence of alcohol, marijuana, and prescription drugs.
“It’s unfair that hardworking people are denied the right to stay here and help our nation,” said Jennifer Jones, a self-proclaimed diehard Belieber. “Justin Bieber came here to live the American Dream. Why should our country deny him that right?”
“I’m worried about what precedent this will set,” said Abbey Smith, another member of the growing movement. “If our government can deport talented Canadians for minor crimes, who’s next? Nickelback? Drake? I don’t think the government appreciates just how much these people contribute to our society.”
In a press conference Tuesday, President Obama assured the Beliebers that he would pardon Bieber to avoid deportation. “As we have seen in his actions at home and abroad,” Obama stated, “Mr. Bieber should not be forcibly removed from our borders. However, this is only a temporary solution, and I urge Congress to continue the steps it has taken in the last few months and expedite a path to citizenship for our nation’s immigrants.”
“Mr. Bieber has exemplified the qualities of this nation,” the president concluded.