“It’s unfair that hardworking people are denied the right to stay here and help our nation,” said Jennifer Jones, a self-proclaimed diehard Belieber. “Justin Bieber came here to live the American Dream. Why should our country deny him that right?”
MIAMI, FL — Failing to learn from the example of Kiera Wilmot in Bartow, FL, a Miami student, 16-year-old Gabriella Silva, arrived at Vargas High School this past Tuesday with a water bottle filled with a mixture of household cleaning products, capped with aluminum foil. A reaction between the chemicals in the cleaners and the aluminum foil produced hydrogen gas and a resulting pressure build-up inside of the bottle. Eventually the top popped off in a firecracker-like explosion with a
EVANSTON — After the 2012 student surveys, both North Campus and South Campus members of the Associated Student Government reached an agreement to curb long lines at Frontera Fresco. The compromise represented a significant policy shift for North Campus members in order to appease their more liberal counterparts. “There’s clearly a change in demographics,” said North Campus Minority Leader Mitch Levy. His party has typically supported old-fashioned gender policies (through single-sex Greek houses), advanced interrogation (hazing), and the opposition of
FORT KENT, ME—In a stunning turn of events from the White House this past week, the president has been partially pulled back to the border debates of yesteryear with the latest in the shocking development that yet another Canadian had made it past the notorious 5 foot stretch between Canada and the US known in some circles as “The Maple Express.” This is the first time in this millennium that one of our “snowy brethren” from the north has made