Category Archives: No. 110

Whale Beached on South Beach, Best Day of Marine Biologist’s Life

EVANSTON — A humpback whale washed ashore South Beach today and became beached when it could not move itself back into deeper waters. The whale remains on the beach now, but four Northwestern seniors who were playing volleyball at the time of the beaching responded quickly. They are providing continuous aid in order to keep the whale alive until the crane building the new music building can be requisitioned to lift the whale back into the lake. Weinberg senior Katie

Illini Dub Wildside Members Heroes for Cancelling World of Beer Event

EVANSTON — After a heavy uproar by Northwestern community and subsequent cancellation of University of Illinois’ alumni event at the Evanston World of Beer, originally scheduled for Wednesday, May 8, one would expect the Illini to be less than pleased. However, the Illini are hailing Wildside members, who rallied students together in protest of the Northwestern rival’s near-campus event, as heroes. John White, a member of the Illinois class of 2000 and a current resident of Peoria, said, “I wasn’t

A&O Sponsored Geographer Concert Disappoints Geography Majors

EVANSTON — Last Sunday A&O hosted a Dance Marathon benefit concert featuring the San Francisco band Geographer. The concert was held out on the Norris East Lawn and was well attended, though the crowd was a departure from the indie band’s usual fan base. Geographer’s manager described the band’s average fan as “a young blond girl with a California tan, usually wearing some combination of swimwear and clothes that I can only assume she stole out of her grandmother’s closet.”

High School Student Arrested, Deported, then Arrested Again

MIAMI, FL — Failing to learn from the example of Kiera Wilmot in Bartow, FL, a Miami student, 16-year-old Gabriella Silva, arrived at Vargas High School this past Tuesday with a water bottle filled with a mixture of household cleaning products, capped with aluminum foil. A reaction between the chemicals in the cleaners and the aluminum foil produced hydrogen gas and a resulting pressure build-up inside of the bottle. Eventually the top popped off in a firecracker-like explosion with a

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