“Steppenwolf, Lookingglass, and a bunch of other places did not really get on the same wave with me during my audition pieces, so I decided to try other avenues.”
Articles by Adam Pecena
Students seemed really relieved that we only require five rounds of interviews, beating a certain number of other candidates in armed mud-wrestling, and a flawless performance of a blood sacrifice of an orphan.
The council passed a new ordinance today mandating that no individual under the age of 21 within the city limits may go to a publicly accessible restroom without parental supervision.
Julie Barrett, 53, feels to be one of the most afflicted, which pushed her to spearhead the “Bring Me Your Stoned and Wasted,” an association of Evanstonites who are missing the smell of fresh yard-puke in the morning.
George Davis of the newly-created Office of Creative Disciplinary Action said the university was getting a lot of pushback from peer institutions but decided to proceed regardless, as “the little shits started drinking fancier booze than I do.”