Category Archives: No. 155

Stephen Colbert to Give Large Donation to Northwestern

EVANSTON—Students received a message from President Morton Schapiro Monday afternoon regarding the upcoming announcement of an unprecedented alumni donation. This donation will be honored on Wednesday, January 28 at a special ceremony led by Schapiro himself. Following the announcement, speculation concerning the identity of the magnanimous benefactor plagued the student body. Rumors of Chester M. Hanks (a.k.a. Chet Haze a.k.a. Tom Hanks Jr. a.k.a. Mr. Wonderful) involvement have been quashed by the most recent update from the Office of the