Local Girl Wears Balaclava, Looks Surprisingly Spectacular

EVANSTON — Faced with the mind-numbing cold of the week of last week, Medill junior Rachel Carnahan was forced to make a difficult decision. Her options were limited: wear that stupid freaking balaclava her mother had purchased for her, or perish in the harsh Evanston cold. Carnahan eventually opted for the balaclava, though still fearing the social backlash that would follow. A well-informed fashionista with her own fashion tumblr, she was aware of the stigma surrounding the garment. However, for once in her damn life, she decided her safety was more important than fashion.

To the shock of all of Evanston, Carnahan was stunning in the balaclava. The lack of a defined neck accented her curves and the complete absence of a face gave way to the alluring mystique of her forehead. Men and women alike dropped books and walked into traffic in a trance-like state induced by seeing the beauty in a balaclava.

“Rachel Carnahan… How do I begin to explain Rachel Carnahan?” mused McCormick sophomore Emma Hadley. “She’s flawless. I hear her balaclava is insured for $10,000. And she does winter coat commercials in Japan. One time she met Apollo Anton Ohno on a ski slope. He told her she was pretty.”

Within two days of the first sighting of Carnahan wearing the formerly absurd headwear, girls all over campus were sporting their very own balaclavas. The newly popular winter accessory has been described as “the best fusion of form and function since Crocs.”

About the Author

Jordan Villanueva
Jordan enjoys watching Lizzie McGuire reruns on Sundays while eating stale bread with his grandmother's ashes. They add a certain flavor similar to cardamom and not dissimilar to cumin. However, Jordan's favorite spice is actually nutmeg because it reminds him of long winter nights in Argentina. It was in Argentina where Jordan worked as a nude model at the Universidad de Buenos Aires. It was in Buenos Aires that he met the love of his life, Lolita, but she tragically left him to return to Canada. Broken-hearted, Jordan now devotes himself to his work with the Northwestern Flipside and his YouTube cooking show.

1 Comment on "Local Girl Wears Balaclava, Looks Surprisingly Spectacular"

  1. As a lover of ski masks and balaclavas alike I can sympathize with the plight of this young woman.
    Often scared to don a ski-mask or balaclava (and yes, there is a difference in my opinion) for fear of public opinion I have taken years to confidently wear them in public.
    In extreme conditions I have been complimented by onlookers, wishing they were as well prepared.
    In less extreme conditions the choice to pull on a ski-mask is a bit more difficult. I still enjoy wearing them, as the looks are a source of amusement for me.
    To me the key is not looking aggressive, a colorful vintage ski-mask can help.
    Kudos to the balaclava clad young woman who braved public opinion and forged ahead masked.
    Truly a test of who your friends are, a ski-mask can bring out the hero in you and tell you who appreciates what is beneath the balaclava.

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