Trevor Siemian Shakes Keys at Panthers

SANTA CLARA, CA – Reports from the sidelines at Levi’s Stadium confirm that during the opening kickoff for Sunday’s Super Bowl 50, Trevor Siemian could be seen shaking his keys at the North Carolina Panthers fan base.

Siemian commented on his controversial behavior. “I know that some people find it demeaning to shake ones keys at an opponent. But if Northwestern has given me anything to take on to the next chapter in my life, it’s traditions like these.”

Other reports allege that Siemian was seen screaming For Whom the Bell Tolls during every Panthers third down.

Peyton Manning had some thoughts on Trevor Siemian, “Who are you talking about? Trevor Semen? I don’t know anyone with that name. Please get out of my face.”

Reports indicate that after every Broncos running play, Siemian could be heard shouting, “Justin Jackson the Ball Carrier.”

About the Author

Brian Capella
Brian's favorite kind of tree is Red Pine, because he likes to break the needles in half and imagine that he is a powerful giant. Additionally, he can proudly say he has never seen a movie in his life. Brian graduated from Harvard with a B.A. in theology in 1679, and then received his M.A. in accordion playing. At Harvard, Brian spent his time rowing down the Charles with his lover Dave Matthews softly caressing his cheeks as they floated. Brian's favorite Ghostbusters character is the Stay-Puft Man. Nowadays, Brian spends his time stuffing his shirt with ice while watching Season 2 Episode 5 of Gilmore Girls on repeat.

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