SoC junior and boldly opinionated white man Tyler Mitchell started to seem like he might not be arguing just for the sake of argument anymore during his Gender Studies discussion section on Thursday. The report was confirmed by several other students who made eye contact as Mitchell raised his hand for the sixth time.
“It all started with a discussion about power dynamics,” said Weinberg sophomore and misguided female Abby Dillo. “Tyler told us that he was going to argue that men were actually wronged by society – like, just for the sake of discussion. Then he started really overusing the word ‘actually’, and suddenly, he was talking about how the #MeToo movement was the menstrual cycle of the male world. I really started to wonder…Satan picked this guy?”
“I started to think something might be up when he told me my uterus might inhibit my ability to tie my shoes,” said Weinberg junior Anaya Roberts. “Then he started explaining that pussy hats aren’t even anatomically correct. Thank god he was there, though. With him in that section, I haven’t had to do the readings this whole quarter.”
It is unclear whether Mitchell was acting in his official capacity as Satan’s spokesperson at the time of his remarks. Hell could not be reached for comment.