Newly awakened to the “cause of the proletariat,” Girl Scout Troop 1917 has been making a killing at the arch after debuting new “Lemon Lenins” for a donation.
“Selling cookies in an effort to teach business literacy is really just a ploy to further the all-consuming machine that is modern capitalism,” says Anna Crisp, age nine an three-quarters, “Plus, these go better with milk.”
Troop 1917 says since debuting their new “Cookies for Comrades” program, they have raised more than $20,000 which they plan to invest directly into “freeing the working class from under the thumb of laissez-faire.”
“The cookies taste fantastic,” says Nate Johnson, a patron of the cookie stand, “but I could do without the lecture of how the ‘free market’ isn’t really free when millions are enslaved to the whims of a privileged few.”
With the success of the recent rollout, Troop 1917 plans to move forward with “Marxist Mallows,” “Hammer and Snickers,” and “Very Berry Bolshevik.”