Girl Scouts to Sell by Donation New “Lemon Lenins” After Turning to the “Cause of the Proletariat”
Newly awakened to the “cause of the proletariat,” Girl Scout Troop 1917 has been making a killing at the arch after debuting new “Lemon Lenins” for a donation.
“Selling cookies in an effort to teach business literacy is really just a ploy to further the all-consuming machine that is modern capitalism,” says Anna Crisp, age nine an three-quarters, “Plus, these go better with milk.”
Troop 1917 says since debuting their new “Cookies for Comrades” program, they have raised more than $20,000 which they plan to invest directly into “freeing the working class from under the thumb of laissez-faire.”
“The cookies taste fantastic,” says Nate Johnson, a patron of the cookie stand, “but I could do without the lecture of how the ‘free market’ isn’t really free when millions are enslaved to the whims of a privileged few.”
With the success of the recent rollout, Troop 1917 plans to move forward with “Marxist Mallows,” “Hammer and Snickers,” and “Very Berry Bolshevik.”