Spanning from age 87 to age 28, degrees in law to degrees in assault, records in TikTok views to records in beer chugging, experts believe as of late November 2025, Congress has officially entered the long-coveted “flow state.”

Typically achieved only by the pinnacle of elegant fluidity, such as an undried up waterfall or a Gen Z content creator navigating a McDonald’s kiosk, the “flow state” has been dubbed by Congressional leaders as the “most sought-after” state to be in.

After Congress’ most recent record-long 43-day government shutdown, many doubted whether such a state would be possible in our country’s lifetime, let alone near future. Nonetheless, experts from around the world declare, by nothing short of a miracle, Congress has entered a state so gracefully aqueous, it could only be comparable to a college student discovering the productivity achieved by silencing one’s phone or dipping two French fries simultaneously into Chick-fil-a sauce.

However, with such a groundbreaking accomplishment comes, according to House Speaker Mike Johnson, “Liberal haters.” Some constituents, such as New York City native Janice Jackson, complain that rewarding such a coveted recognition to the government for “doing their job” is “insulting” to each pioneer of efficiency that has previously been considered to “enter” the flow state for their outstanding accomplishments.

Nonetheless, aquatic experts and self-proclaimed “flow state” specialists alike have convened and, with a healthy mix of unpartisan discussion and partisan bribery, deemed Congress “officially entered in the flow state,” on the basis that they swear an oath promising to last at least another 43 days before their next recreational record-breaking shutdown.