Frat Boy Holds Press Conference to Confess Lies, Regrets
I deeply regret not getting as turnt as I said I did.
Flipside Investigator Recovers Speed Dating Notes
#3 seems a little on edge when I ask him what the perfect our wedding would look like. He gets a very important phone call about halfway through. Poor guy’s dorm is on fire so he has to leave right away.
Food Network Premiers “Better Cole Slaw”
The series premiered Sunday night, after the newest episode of The Walking Bread, the network’s hit drama featuring a travelling baker.
CTA Offers Northwestern Students Additional Opportunity to Ignore Chicago
“An additional evening Purple Express train would give Northwestern students a new chance to disregard access to the entertainment, leisure, and career possibilities awaiting them in the beautiful city of Chicago.”
A Love Letter from a Frat Pledge to his Clothing
Do you know what the other brothers at Tappa Tappa Keg would think if I wore pants of a color other than that of a fish? Or if they saw me wearing shoes actually meant to be worn somewhere other than a boat?
A Love Letter from Allison to Bobb
“I love you the way McCormick loves the tears of the innocent.”
A Love Letter from Left Shark to Right Shark
Look, I don’t want to make assumptions, but it’s just that I have a feeling deep down in my cartilage that you are upset with me, and I think I know why.
Free Tissues for First 100 Students at NU Men’s Basketball Game
The Flipside Reviews Nick Offerman
To the delight of the audience, he consumed the equivalent of four whole cows in under ten minutes. He then washed the meal down with a full case of beer and a dozen scrambled eggs.
Phonathon Student Calls Chester Hanks
EVANSTON—It was the first day at Northwestern University Phonathon for Shannon Wells, WCAS ’17, last Tuesday. Like any eager, purple-clad, Northwestern student, she said, “I was super excited to get in contact with alumni passionate about their alma mater and make some money for NU.” But her face said it all. She just wanted to earn minimum wage via the glorious technology of automatic dialing. “It started out like any other day. Well, it was my first day, but…anyway, I sat