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Tiger Woods Admits to 18th Mistress, Blames Phallic Imagery of Golf

JUPITER ISLAND, FL—In a press conference today, Tiger Woods retracted his previous earth-shattering statement: “I’m human and I’m not perfect.” Woods claimed that he recently realized that these generic labels were insufficient to describe him. “I’m also a man,” he said. “And I’m a Neo-Freudian now.” The famed golfer sought psychiatric treatment when the details of his unsavory personal life came to the attention of the media. Woods believes that this decision has changed his entire perspective buy custom essays online on his