Tag Archives: Presidential Debates

Area Man Telling You How You’re a Propaganda-Spewing Sheep

FACEBOOK –- Following your decision to watch a Presidential debate and post a Facebook status in support of your preferred candidate, area man William Burton, whom sources indicate you dimly remember from your days in summer camp, has already left three lengthy comments on your original post detailing exactly how and why you are a propaganda-spewing shill for an illegitimate political movement. Burton began his tirade by telling you how “disappointed” he was to see you supporting a rival politician

Professor Proposes Solution to Lengthy, Off-Topic Presidential Debates

ITHACA, NY – The moderators of the presidential debates have tried to keep the debates concise and focused to no avail. The candidates ramble, go off topic, and make personal attacks on each other. Despite changes in debate format, stricter moderators, and rules known beforehand and agreed to by both campaigns, the problem persists. Peter Paddock, an esteemed psychology professor at Cornell University, has an answer: water guns. He explains, “Say Mitt Romney was not talking about the issue being