Tag Archives: Stink

NU Student Discovers His Shit Does Not Stink

EVANSTON—After weeks of posturing and discussing getting laid, Weinberg Freshman Alan Simpson discovered Thursday that his shit literally does not stink. The revelation came as a shock to many who knew him. “I was just about to flush the toilet, when I thought, ‘Hey, that’s weird’,” Simpson said. “So I got a little closer, and sure enough, it didn’t smell bad, like, at all.” Simpson’s roommate, Robert Talley, was caught by surprise. “For the first couple weeks, he just seemed