Budget Crisis Means Only Holiday Music in Norris is Morty Singing “Little Drummer Boy”

With the budget crisis in full effect, Northwestern might not have anything to deck the halls with, but that hasn’t stopped Northwestern President Morton Schapiro from attempting to spread the good cheer. Since Norris can’t even afford to play holiday music, Morty has been in the student center day and night, belting out all the holiday classics.

“I was about to order at Norbucks when I heard a quiet baritonepa rum pum pum pum’ coming from around the corner,” said senior Shira Thomas. “There, next to the fire place, was Morty warbling ‘Little Drummer Boy.’”

Spectators said that Schapiro’s rendition was surprisingly good and that he really poured his emotions into the verse, “I am a poor boy too.”

When asked about his performance, Schapiro replied, “I love the holiday season! It’s all about giving. Speaking of giving, all I want for Christmas is $200 million.”

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