Mhapiro was a last-minute addition to the debate, entering with black dye dripping down his forehead and frantically reading a sheet of paper that had the words “hip slang the kids are using” Sharpied at the top.
Tag Archives: Morty
“In Chapter 12, after deciding to hoard even more BINAX-Now’s by blocking incoming shipments of at-home tests, Fuke Ligora cackles with glee about his evil plan in the office of his supervisor Shorty Mapiro.”
“I never thought I would ever have the urge to call Morty a dame,” said Michael “But there I was, holding my eyeballs in their sockets so they wouldn’t pop out like a Looney Tunes horndog.”
“Plus, this really isn’t so different—Mr. Shapiro nibbles on sticks with the best of ‘em.”
After all, any NU student worth their salt knows the old adage: “more hose, more woes.”
“If we’re going to stand a chance against Minnesota and Michigan, we’re going to have to spend more on our stadium,” said defensive lineman Hugo Bigman.
“Not only will every student, professor and administrator be required to change their first and last names to ‘Ryan,’ this is now Ryan University, in Ryan, Illinois, and we only have one major – Ryan.”
“I got a vaccine plug from a buddy of mine in Kappa Delta Moderna, and I was just looking to get lit, get wild, and vaccinate some shawties,”
“We are always looking for more ways to engage the student body in capitalist brainwashing.”
High School Senior Hunted Down and Publicly Shamed By President Schapiro After Accidentally Submitting “Why Northeastern” Application Essay
“I think it’s going to hurt the most vulnerable among the Northwestern Community: alumni that name drop Northwestern during every conversation and claim that the Ivy League is ‘a social construct.’”