Author Archives: Laura McGehee

Northwestern to Replace Football Team with Real Athletes

EVANSTON – Following Saturday’s loss to Iowa, the Northwestern athletic department has decided to take a new approach in managing the football team. Luke Harrison, Director of Athletics, explained Monday that the coaching staff has decided to replace the entire football team. “The fact of the matter is, we have the potential to be a really good team. The thing that is really messing up our players is the fact that they are students at Northwestern,” Harrison said. “We realized

Hundreds of Freshmen Play Essential NU Drinking Game

EVANSTON – Freshmen passed out in droves at this year’s Wildcat Welcome, and campus administrators suspect that some type of drinking game was afoot during the lecture. Stacy Herman, the event coordinator, said the drinking game had a simple premise. “The fact of the matter is that taking a shot every time we said ‘peer pressure,’ ‘disappointment,’ or ‘started failing all my classes’ is a complete disappointment to the University and a very clear cave-in to peer pressure. I would