Shy Student Almost Raises His Hand

EVANSTON – A shy student moved his hand in an upward motion—while his elbow bent almost to the point where it was even with his hand—in an apparent effort to answer a question. As the 357 political science teacher started to make eye contact with the student at 3:45 p.m., the shy guy quickly lowered his hand.

“I really thought he was going to do it,” said classmate Laura Berg. “I wonder what his voice sounds like.”

The student, whose name nobody knows, has never been this close to participating before, said professor Rebecca White.

“I knew he was shy from the moment I called attendance and instead of saying ‘here,’ he just stared at me,” White said. “What’s his name, you ask? I don’t know for sure; he didn’t respond.”

“Who gives a flying fuck about shy people, anyway?” added White.

When approached for comment, the introvert darted into a bathroom and curled up in the fetal position.

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