Premed Still Unsure Who Won Election

SOMEWHERE DEEP WITHIN THE RECESSES OF TECH — After spending all of Tuesday night in Tech Library studying for his Orgo midterm, freshman Justin Forster emerged earlier today completely unaware of who won the presidential election.

“Oh shit,” said a disheveled Forster when reached for comment. “I-I guess I was so worried about [studying] that I just completely forgot [the election] was happening. I’m not even sure how long I’ve been in there for.” Forster went on to explain that this midterm counts for a whopping 30% of his grade and his parents would really like him to go to medical school.

“I mean, this midterm could make or break my admissions to med schools in four years, and I’ll find out whether Obama or the other guy won eventually,” said Forster, scratching his long, scraggly beard with his foot-long fingernails. “I should probably go back to studying.”

Forster was last seen purchasing 20 bottles of 5-hour Energy at Norris, and reportedly asked the cashier, “Did Obama win? I’ll be shocked if he beat McCain. Also, what’s an iPad?” before returning to his study nook in Tech.

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