Armstrong Circa 2005 Upset by “Slanderous” Remarks from Armstrong Circa 2013, Threatens to Destroy Career

AUSTIN, TX — In recently acquired testimonies, anonymous sources report that Lance Armstrong in 2005 was extremely upset by public statements made by Lance Armstrong in 2013 regarding his doping allegations. The Flipside was told by these sources that ’05-Armstrong vowed to his closest confidants that he wanted to destroy the career of ’13-Armstrong for the “obviously-false” statements made by Armstrong.

According to the sources, ’05-Armstrong went on a tirade against ’13-Armstrong, calling him “crazy,” “bitch,” and “a prostitute with a drinking problem,” among other names. In addition, ’05-Armstrong consulted with his legal team to see whether suing ’13-Armstrong with a crippling libel lawsuit was a possibility. The same sources report that ’05-Armstrong put pressure on his sponsors to make sure that ’13-Armstrong would be disowned from his sponsors such as Trek Bicycles. It was also reported that an associate close to ’05-Armstrong left threatening voicemails to ’13-Armstrong under the pretenses of drunkenness.

In response, ’13-Armstrong distanced himself from ’05-Armstrong, saying that ’05-Armstrong was a “flawed human” who was obsessed with winning and did everything he could in order to win.

At press time, ’05-Armstrong was seen injecting massive quantities of previously-drawn blood in a sketchy hotel room in rural Spain.

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