NU Says It’s Only Fair To Have More Fairs

EVANSTON — Northwestern University administrators declared yesterday that the campus will host a record number of fairs this year. Events Management Chair Neil Cordoba foreshadowed some of the future happenings: “We could not help noticing the repeated success of the Activities Fair, the Volunteer Fair, the Jobs and Internships Fair, not to mention our other fairs, so we made a commitment to add a fair number more this year.”

Following the Housing Fair in February, a new Louis Hall event organized in cooperation with the CTA, the Fare Fair, will take place, featuring the prices of public transport in the city. In March, an art showcase, the tickets for which will vary in price depending on the customer’s income and dubbed the Unfair Fair, is planned. Cordoba also promised more themed fairs were in the works, such as Greasy Hair, Gummy Bear, and an exhibition on the Native American chief Sitting Bear.

“Once we select the final list of fairs from our many applicants, the new Norris Director of Fairs, Nelson Fermin, will pick his team and start working on the spring quarter events—the Astaire Fair, Blair Fair, Baudelaire Fair, and Dreyfus Af-Fair about important historical figures; the Ware Fair, Wear Fair, and Where Fair for fashion lovers; Scare Fair, Voyeur Fair, Bare Fair, and Don’t Stare Fair, which will be our special features for NU Sex Week; Mare Fair, Hare Fair, and Pear Fair for those interested in nature; and of course the Spare Fair for those organizations that wouldn’t fit thematically in any of the other fairs. Finally, the Fairs Fair will help students decide which fairs they should come check out.”

About the Author

Adam Pecena
Before joining the Flipside, Adam worked as the Czech correspondent for GQ Magazine, where he covered beer, fringe sporting events, and celebrity dating. At Northwestern, he has been voted “Most Likely to Wear Crocs” by his floor mates for three consecutive years. Adam’s career highlights include heroic attempts at reviving 90’s white boy pop with his band “Czech4Lyfe.” In his free time, Adam likes to throw Starbursts at the elderly and read 19th century Russian fiction, preferably simultaneously. Recently, Adam sent a hit man to kill Jordan’s $400 black piranha because he loves killing fish, and hates Jordan.

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