The Evanston city council recently introduced a motion that would approve the building of a skate park in the Evanston area. To evaluate this motion, we invited two guest columnists to share their opinions.
Patrick Thornby, 14: No, this isn’t a good idea for such a first-class model community.
Having lived in Evanston my whole life, I have grown to appreciate its quirks and deeply love its reputation. This town was founded on great principles that have brought great things to the world, and I don’t want to see that go to waste. From the Temperance Movement to the Brothel Law, Evanston is a bread basket of moral perfection.
The motion to build a skate park infringes on every fundamental belief of Evanston residents. As our valiant Mayor Tisdahl has shown us, we must not allow petty pastimes to distract us from our moral righteousness. If youth embrace the opportunity to ride a skateboard (a devilish means of transportation), they will wander away from the path of openly denouncing the consumption of alcohol and shutting down Northwestern social events. In short, a skate park simply is not right for Evanston and I firmly oppose this measure.
Patrick is a high school freshman. He is currently president of Students Against Liberal Commies and aspires to be mayor of Evanston.
Paul Hamilton, 74: Hell yeah! Let’s do it!
This town is as boring as CSPAN on a slow day. I don’t even sit out on my porch because I can get that much entertainment throwing empty booze bottles at Phyllis’s Jim Shore sculptures. What we need is some good old riff raff.
I remember back when I was young. Dagum, that’s been a while. But it wasn’t a Saturday night if we didn’t raise hell ‘round this town. My buddy Tom ran a secret bowling alley in his basement and all the folks from around Evanston would come beg Tom to get in, but he kept it just for us. Shoot, those were the days.
Y’know, I had a buncha boys over here last week. Couple kids from down’t the high school come to me every once in a while for some booze. I give ‘em the good stuff, kids deserve some fun. Anyway, we talk for a bit and we finally decide if they ain’t gonna let us skip down the sidewalk we’re gonna overthrow Ol’ Tizzy. Then this whole skate park thing comes up this week and I call the boys up and we think this is what we been waiting on. A real hoodrat sort of place. Get some good times rolling around E-town. Kids round here are going crazy all cooped up all the time. Let’s let ‘em free.
Paul is a retired musician from the Evanston area. Until recently, he resided in Evanston with his wife Phyllis. He has since relocated to Cook County Jail.