Students Waste All of Reading Week Studying

EVANSTON — Each quarter, the time between the last day of classes and finals (deceptively called reading “week”) brings the promise of productivity, only to be swept away by all-too-common distractions. This quarter is no exception, and as another reading week draws to a close, many Weinberg students regret a week wasted.

Junior biochemistry major Ilene Dover bemoaned losing yet another once-promising week of sleeping and debauchery to studying. “I kept telling myself this quarter would be different,” said Dover. “I was going to catch up on the entire third season of Homeland and re-watch Mean Girls twice before finals. But I spent the entire week doing chemistry practice problems.”

Weinberg freshman Stephen Carter also lamented the all-too-quick passing of his second reading week. “I told myself it would be different this time,” the premedical student asserted. “I would work so hard and actually finish the new Grand Theft Auto game that I got for Christmas. My mom was going to be so proud when she saw my high score.”

Carter said he hoped his parents wouldn’t find out that he actually spent all of reading week holed up in the library, writing three final papers and preparing for his multivariable calculus exam. “It seemed like a good idea at the time. I figured, just a quick break from killing and mugging animated characters,” Carter added. “But once I started, I just couldn’t stop. Soon the whole week was over and I’d finished all three of my papers and gone through an entire study guide of practice problems.”

Weinberg senior Jennifer Wells, who will be graduating a quarter early, described her final reading week as “tragic.” She was determined to finally use the time productively by getting completely wasted every single night. “I RSVP’d that I would attend all the ragers I was invited to on Facebook, purchased a keg, and even made plans to go out with my boyfriend Tommy,” the new alumna explained.

But distracted by a series of email alerts about review sessions and group project meetings, Jennifer’s plans did not come to fruition. “I spent all but one night sober, and only saw Tommy when we were editing each other’s French essays,” she lamented after turning in both her paper and group project three days early.

Students in Bienen, the School of Communication, Medill, and McCormick seem to have avoided this plague of productivity altogether, spending all of their reading weeks respectively practicing, skipping class, tweeting, and hibernating in the Mudd Library basement as usual.

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