Op Ed: It’s Awkward to Have a Woman on the Money I Use to Tip Strippers

The recent decision to replace Andrew Jackson with Harriet Tubman on the twenty-dollar bill is on the surface, a wonderful step towards equality. I am all for the advancement of women, and more specifically, the advancement of black women. However, the government failed to take into account one crucial problem with placing Harriet on the 20. That’s right, this decision has the potential to cut the wages of thousands of hard working women in half. Why? Because generous tippers like myself find it weird to see a woman on the money we use to tip strippers, and an old woman at that. It would be a different story if she was hot, I mean put Marilyn Monroe on there and I’m all over making it rain.

In general, how can we do this to the women who work hard all over the country to please others? They are the true philanthropists of this world. I can only hope that one day the people of this fine country will come to their senses and remove this horrid awkwardness from strip club interactions. Can you see Obama tossing Harriets on the hoes? Me neither.

About the Author

Lena Goren
Lena's personality largely stems from her upbringing as the 12th out of 17 children. She has never eaten macaroni or been to Idaho, but she's a loving mother and avid banjo player. Her favorite banjo song is "Go Tell It on the Mountain," which she often performs as a duet with singer-songwriter Nicki Minaj. Lena has a nasty disorder causing her to impulsively throw everything disc-shaped. Lena's real name is Barbara, but if you call her by her real name she turns to stone. Lena is actually the only female licensed plumber in her home town, and Boy, does she plumb!

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