Reports are filing in from multiple student sources that Halloween and the widely observed “Hump Day” are on course for a climactic and messy collision, leaving many to speculate if candy will be the only thing spread out on the living room floor this holiday season.
“This Hump Day I can just be myself and pretend it’s some sort of costume.”, said an anonymous Weinberg freshman. “And maybe I’ll finally be able to get more than just candy in the sack.” With the opportunity to face no repercussions for lying about who they are, Northwestern students are lining up to buy costumes for the “monster smash” taking place in just over a week.
This year’s most popular costumes include: sexy Fortnite characters, “student in the midst of a mental breakdown,” and attractive Pete Davidson.
“Personally, I’m just going to go as a Weinberg sophomore and see how it goes,” said the anonymous freshman. “Regardless, I can’t wait to do the whole Southwest neighborhood.” At press time, it was still unclear whether the freshman was talking about Halloween or Hump Day.