You fucked up. You really fucked up.
Tag Archives: Halloween
5 Group Costumes Your Friends Will Try To Rope You Into And 20 Slightly Different Ways to Say “Haha Maybe….”
For every “guys, how about sexy anti-vaxxers?” there will always be a “lol I don’t know maybe lol.”
“Both candy corn and its enjoyers have no taste, will show up uninvited at your Halloween parties and can, if so compelled, clog up your ear.”
“You’re not a sexy cat, or a sexy maid, or a sexy bottle of Suave Men 3 in 1 Citrus Rush Shampoo, Conditioner and Body Wash. You’re just your sad little self, and that should be enough.”
“Hunter’s political commentary on Justin Trudeau circa 2001 may have offended some of our peers,” stated Smith’s roommate Brock Brunson, “but how is he supposed to be held accountable for his actions AND have a wild Halloweekend?!”
Virginia Governor Ralph Northam might have more skeletons in his closet than a necrophilic anatomy teacher. Last week a photo from Northam’s yearbook page resurfaced showing two people, one in black face and the other in a Ku Klux Klan hood. Or so it seemed. Shortly after the photo was published, Northam identified himself as the man in white but was quick to defend himself. “I was clearly wearing a ghost costume for a Halloween party. And so what if
Costumes reportedly included timeless classics such as a slutty devil, slutty cat, and slutty alien, but also included throwback outfits like slutty ‘80s workout instructor and topical statements such as a slutty absentee ballot.
“Usually I just put a napkin on my pecker to make it look like a ghost, but this year the community is expecting something more,” Scoggs explained to the press.
“I am hoping by the end of this I will have enough candy to last until Christmas. Maybe they’ll even throw a few Keystones in there too.”
“What really put me over the edge was a scary clown handing me my CHEM 212 grade and saying, ‘Oh no, I guess mommy’s little boy won’t be a doctor after all!’”