“Hunter’s political commentary on Justin Trudeau circa 2001 may have offended some of our peers,” stated Smith’s roommate Brock Brunson, “but how is he supposed to be held accountable for his actions AND have a wild Halloweekend?!”
Tag Archives: Halloween
Virginia Governor Ralph Northam might have more skeletons in his closet than a necrophilic anatomy teacher. Last week a photo from Northam’s yearbook page resurfaced showing two people, one in black face and the other in a Ku Klux Klan hood. Or so it seemed. Shortly after the photo was published, Northam identified himself as the man in white but was quick to defend himself. “I was clearly wearing a ghost costume for a Halloween party. And so what if
Costumes reportedly included timeless classics such as a slutty devil, slutty cat, and slutty alien, but also included throwback outfits like slutty ‘80s workout instructor and topical statements such as a slutty absentee ballot.
“Usually I just put a napkin on my pecker to make it look like a ghost, but this year the community is expecting something more,” Scoggs explained to the press.
“I am hoping by the end of this I will have enough candy to last until Christmas. Maybe they’ll even throw a few Keystones in there too.”
“What really put me over the edge was a scary clown handing me my CHEM 212 grade and saying, ‘Oh no, I guess mommy’s little boy won’t be a doctor after all!’”
Reports are filing in from multiple student sources that Halloween and the widely observed “Hump Day” are on course for a climactic and messy collision, leaving many to speculate if candy will be the only thing spread out on the living room floor this holiday season. “This Hump Day I can just be myself and pretend it’s some sort of costume.”, said an anonymous Weinberg freshman. “And maybe I’ll finally be able to get more than just candy in the
Students have generally described the hauntings as friendly, though contact with the unknown leaves them all with anxiety and dread.
Though the theme of the party was to wear the scariest costume, Bowen’s outfit was not received well.
“Personally, I just enjoy it so much I figured the student body would appreciate it, too.”