Ask Flippy: Did I Get a Registration Hold Because I Didn’t Wish Morty a Happy Halloween?
You fucked up. You really fucked up.
Category Archives: No. 336
New study by Nestle-Kroger-Mills-Kraft-Heinz conglomerate finds shoveling sugar into mouth at relentless pace actually good for you
The research, fondly dubbed the “Sweet Saccharin Study” undoes decades of anti-dextrose discourse. Doctors everywhere are reading the Sweet Saccharin Study with bewilderment, quitting their jobs, and wondering how they got it so wrong.
Op-Ed: I can’t rewatch Pitch Perfect anymore without envisioning the Barden Bellas being that one a cappella group echoing into the night from Kresge
The scene where the new a cappella recruits dance in the amphitheater is replaced by visions of upperclassmen belting off-key by the Willard piano. The Riff-Off just makes me think of prime time at Norbucks.
8 Neutral Things to Say Around Your Significant Other’s Conservative Parents That Will Still Get You Invited on the Yacht
“Poor people should get money…………………………… if they earn it.”
Ask Flippy: Is Kidnapping and Arson Going Too Far for a Guaranteed Win at Bob’s Trivia?
“You and all our readers know that I take a particularly hard stance on crime — more specifically, that it’s often the best way to make some good of a bad situation!”
Op Ed: I Wouldn’t Say NUDM is a Pyramid Scheme, I Would Call it More of a Multi-Level Marketing Conglomerate
“I really don’t know the differences between a pyramid scheme and multi-level marketing. I’m not like you ivory-tower econ bros, who only fantasize about the supply-and-demand curves.”
Paramedics Rush Ryan Field Following Concussion, Put in Time-Out for Interrupting Football Game
“Makes me sick that they think the quality of that boy’s skull is more important than football”