Op Ed: I Wouldn’t Say NUDM is a Pyramid Scheme, I Would Call it More of a Multi-Level Marketing Conglomerate

DISCLAIMER: While I have worked with NUDM, I also have a best friend who isn’t in NUDM, making your argument moot and invalid.

Just like you, dear reader, I used to think NUDM was a pyramid scheme. A year ago, I posted about it on Twitter, and after just a few seconds NUDM’s Senior Programmer for Advertising and Marketing (SPAM), Junc’mayl Spamster, offered to treat me to a coffee and educate me on her perspectives on NUDM. I hope I can share her helpful explanation with you.

After kindly fetching our order and adding a few drops from a cool little vial to my latte, Junc’mayl explained the situation. She said that calling NUDM a pyramid scheme was preposterous, that they would never try to take advantage of people. Instead, what they were doing was more along the lines of a multi-level marketing scheme. I admit I here started to waver. I really don’t know the differences between a pyramid scheme and multi-level marketing. I’m not like you ivory-tower econ bros, who only fantasize about the supply-and-demand curves. And, after downing the entirety of that delicious coffee and Junc’mayl’s generous gift of a $50 Quiznos gift card, I can assure you that she just wants the best for us. NUDM is good.

When people say “pyramid scheme,” they mean a scam, a bad thing. NUDM is anything but: these people are kind and generous, and I cannot fathom them hurting a fly. In fact, if you are more positive about NUDM, they might even let you try out a spoonful of caviar (seasoned, I’m told, with the same condiment from my coffee!) Why does NUDM have caviar? To feed starving children, of course! How lovely!

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