In stark contrast to how he has presented himself for the past 32 years, Evanston’s resident nudist, Earl Scoggs (SESP ’86), announced that he will be dressing up for Halloween.
“Usually I just put a napkin on my pecker to make it look like a ghost, but this year the community is expecting something more,” Scoggs explained to the press.
Scoggs says the decision comes after much soul searching, personal transformation, and an online petition.
Community members have cheered Scogg’s decision. Mother Abbess of Our Lady Queen of Peace said, “I just hope our long national nightmare is over… he won’t even cross his legs on the CTA.”
Scoggs has expressed concern about attempting to find a proper costume. “I mean, it’s been so long I’ve forgotten how to match clothes… a green shirt? It wouldn’t even match my beige penis.”