Northwestern Flipside

After making his rounds through the various Sunday dinners hosted by Northwestern fraternities, Star Trek fanatic Kirk Spockard has allegedly found his future brotherhood with “Sci-Fi”.

Costumes reportedly included timeless classics such as a slutty devil, slutty cat, and slutty alien, but also included throwback outfits like slutty ‘80s workout instructor and topical statements such as a slutty absentee ballot.

“I think the 3.6% strategy really synergizes the business owner’s desire to make money and impoverish millennials.”

It was only after receiving an email from Northwestern president Morton Schapiro offering the production company a look into Northwestern’s new five-star rated housing that Diaz knew the new season would be a success.