Atwood Receives Lukewarm Response at Keynote From Campus Dudes; “She’d Be Pretty If She Smiled More”

Renowned author Margaret Atwood received a lukewarm response at keynote from Northwestern dudes, many of whom commented, “she’d be pretty if she smiled more.”

Atwood came to campus to discuss her groundbreaking novel “A Handmaid’s Tale” which takes place in a dystopian patriarchal society where women are oppressed.

Toxic masculinity and institutional sexism are among some of the complicated themes Atwood discussed, all of which were lost on the tens of male students sitting in the audience.

“For an old lady, she was alright.” commented Tappa Tappa Keg brother Brock Thompson. “Don’t get me wrong, she sounds like a great writer and all, but she just seemed so serious. Like, lighten up a little, sweetheart!”

Atwood’s novel is especially relevant in America today, where issues like gender inequality and sexual assault have been brought to the forefront of politics by social movements like #MeToo.

“Margaret Atwood is, what? Almost 80?”  said Chad Buckwell of Northwestern’s eSports Club. “Why can’t the school pick a hotter speaker? At least that way the audience will be interested.”

Atwood’s keynote asserted that much of the language used to subjugate the women of Gilead in “A Handmaid’s Tale” is strikingly similar to misogynist rhetoric heard in today’s political discourse. This, however, was not the big takeaway for many local brohams and broskis.

“She’s no more than a 5 at best,” Thompson said. “Maybe a 5 and a half if she didn’t talk so much.”

At press time, an exasperated Atwood was found trying to explain the wage gap to a group of disinterested dudes playing pickup soccer at Lakeside Field.

 

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