Category Archives: No. 287

Op Ed: If Improv is About Saying “Yes” Then Why Did Every Group Say “No” to Me?

As any new Northwestern student who googles “what is improv” five minutes before their audition knows, the only rule to the Chicago-founded comedic art form is saying “yes.” But if that’s the case, then why did every improv group on campus say “no” to me? I’m talking Titanic, Mee-Ow, ODB, The Bix, even the Panini Players. They all said “no.” I didn’t even get a single callback. I say they’re a bunch of hypocrites. If they were really committed to the

8th Generation Northwestern Legacy Student Just Spits on Application to Get In

With early decision deadlines looming, Jacob Weinberg Schapiro Ryan Fieldhouse McWilliecat VII, an 8th generation legacy, simply spat on his Northwestern University application, causing him to be accepted immediately. Admissions officers were amazed, calling McWilliecat’s application “original”, “highly personal”, and “phlegmy”. “You really can’t get more unique than Jacob’s application,” said Leah Gascoigne, head of admissions. “Here we were, holding a physical part of Jacob. We really got a good idea of who he was, and immediately admitted him; even