Fatal Accident After Professor Assigns ‘Headshot’ to ROTC Instead of RTVF Student

While Weinberg student Ned Plumbert was taking his normal stroll to class last Monday, he was fatally injured—all thanks to a tragic mix up of acronyms. According to police reports, the incident began when an RTVF student whom a professor instructed to take a ‘headshot’ turned out to be an ROTC student instead.

Filmmaking professor Perry Biscit, whose trial is set for early next year, feels very bad about the mix-up. “I realized I could have been more clear in my instructions,” she said. “Instead of ‘headshot,’ I could have said ‘close-up.’ I also told him to ‘shoot quickly’ because the camera was low on battery, but I guess he misinterpreted that part, too.”

Keith Rogers, the ROTC student, also released a defense statement: “The first thing they teach us in the Marines is to obey orders no matter what,” said Keith. “But on second thought, it did seem a little weird that my commander was wearing a beret and holding a clapperboard.”

Biscit, despite facing a heavy prison sentence, sees a silver lining to the incident. “I want to turn this whole crazy episode into a short film,” she said. “I’ll have a lot of time in prison to work on the script!”

The tragic mix-up, though shocking, is apparently not the first of its kind. A theater professor, who wishes to remain anonymous, revealed his own story: “Once I told an improv performer to say ‘yes and’ to everything. Turns out, I was actually talking to the head of the psychology department, who then immediately approved Satoshi Kanazawa as a visiting scholar.”


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