Despite numerous previous successes in bemoaning his worthlessness for comedic effect, a Northwestern student has finally pushed it too far and made everyone uncomfortable.
“I don’t know whether it was the timing, or the wording, or the fact that Eric’s grandmother just died, but for some reason, me ironically mentioning my desire to ascend from this mortal plane wasn’t well-received,” said the student at the heart of this unprecedented development, who wishes to remain nameless.
“In all my 20 years of being alive, I’ve never so wanted to…not…be alive,” lamented the humiliated student. “See? I can’t even put together a joke anymore! I’m ruined!”
Thorough investigations by the Flipside field staff revealed that the source was only semi-liked by his peers, even before the ill-advised joke.
“We kept him around because he made us feel better about ourselves,” said an acquaintance of the subject. “But now we’re just embarrassed to be associated with him.”