Not To Be Outdone, Thomas the Tank Engine Writers Announce Percy is Pansexual

Following the season premiere of Arthur, where it was revealed that Mr. Ratburn is gay, writers for “Thomas & Friends” announced that Percy is pansexual.

“We here at ‘Thomas & Friends’ believe love is love, even for tank engines,” commented Karen Wagner, an official spokesperson for the children’s show.

Percy, the lovable small green engine, will reportedly explore his newfound attractions to his fellow trains, Emily and Gordon, in a three episode arc which will culminate with, as Wagner put it, “the most passionate love-making scene, the likes of which the Island of Sodor has never seen.”

The show has denied that their decision to address Percy’s sexual orientation has anything to do with the spike in “Arthur” ratings following the Mr. Ratburn coming-out episode

“We live in a progressive age, and it’s about time our toddlers understand the nuances of human sexuality,” said Wagner.

She added, “The guys over at ‘Arthur’ showed a gay rat wedding, so what? It’s pretty unoriginal; hasn’t anyone heard of ‘Ratatouille’? Here at ‘Thomas’, we refuse to conform to such an overly-simplistic gay-straight dichotomy. You know what’s been missing in television for people in the revered 0-36 month age range? Pansexual, gender-fluid talking trains. That’s where our show comes in. The queer train has left the station- literally- so get ready for some intense consensual LGBTQ tank-engine intercourse in the coming seasons.”

At press time, “Thomas” writers were in the middle of a heated debate about whether Toby the Tram was a top or bottom.


  • MrBighead

    I always wondered about Percy’s relationship with Gator. I thought he might be bocosexual.

  • Pissed

    That’s it I’m done with Thomas . My children grew up loving it . We have ridden the Thomas engine at Strasburg railroad. Enough is enough with this gay/trans agenda. Children DO NOT NEED TO BE TAUGHT THIS CRAP AT EVERY TURN !! It’s bad enough it’s being shoved down their young throats in schools. My grandchildren will not watch any Thomas

  • Michelle

    Disappointing. Young kids don’t need to be aware of what a train’s sexual preference is. Sorry Thomas, but you and your friends are no longer welcome in my home. And no I’m not anti this or phobic that, my child at 4yrs old doesn’t need to know about adult sexuality just yet. Your business is your business, but when you forcibly make it my business, I get to decide how I react. Stop sexualising everything!

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