Not To Be Outdone, Thomas the Tank Engine Writers Announce Percy is Pansexual

Following the season premiere of Arthur, where it was revealed that Mr. Ratburn is gay, writers for âThomas & Friendsâ announced that Percy is pansexual.
âWe here at âThomas & Friendsâ believe love is love, even for tank engines,â commented Karen Wagner, an official spokesperson for the childrenâs show.
Percy, the lovable small green engine, will reportedly explore his newfound attractions to his fellow trains, Emily and Gordon, in a three episode arc which will culminate with, as Wagner put it, âthe most passionate love-making scene, the likes of which the Island of Sodor has never seen.â
The show has denied that their decision to address Percyâs sexual orientation has anything to do with the spike in âArthurâ ratings following the Mr. Ratburn coming-out episode
âWe live in a progressive age, and itâs about time our toddlers understand the nuances of human sexuality,â said Wagner.
She added, âThe guys over at âArthurâ showed a gay rat wedding, so what? Itâs pretty unoriginal; hasnât anyone heard of âRatatouilleâ? Here at âThomasâ, we refuse to conform to such an overly-simplistic gay-straight dichotomy. You know whatâs been missing in television for people in the revered 0-36 month age range? Pansexual, gender-fluid talking trains. Thatâs where our show comes in. The queer train has left the station- literally- so get ready for some intense consensual LGBTQ tank-engine intercourse in the coming seasons.â
At press time, âThomasâ writers were in the middle of a heated debate about whether Toby the Tram was a top or bottom.