Urie Disbands Emo Pop Group To Study Abroad: “It’s Actually Pronounced Panic At The DiTHHHHco”
After 20 years of writing sins, Brendon Urie has decided to follow in the footsteps of thousands of his fans and give tragedy a try.
The aging emo recently announced that his “band,” Panic! at the Disco, will disband after two generations so Urie can embark on the study-abroad journey of a lifetime in Barcelona.
“I was tired of churning out queer-coded bops for gen-Z sadboys past their prime,” Urie said, speaking from the bathroom floor of his Barcelona youth hostel. “But then, one of my friends came back from study abroad wearing eyeliner and a skinny scarf, and I realized there might still be a place where I fit in perfectly.”
So far, Urie’s first week in Spain has been marked by all the long siestas, incorrectly pronounced tapas, and poorly appreciated art he could ever dream of.
He’s even been on the tail end of a study-abroad college student’s obligatory foreign affair, stepping perfectly into the role of scruffy 30-something musician fling. “High Hopeth” and “Mith Jackson” have been popular with the Barcelona barflies, Urie reports.
“It’s actually pronounced Panic at the Dithhhhco now,” Urie said. “Works like a charrrrrm.”
To date, Urie has been pickpocketed twice.
The Flipside is still waiting for additional news on Urie’s proposed post-travel residency in Epcot’s Spain pavilion.
“He’ll be back once he blows all his tour revenue on Ryan Air tickets,” said former bandmate Ryan Ross.