Harrison Responds to Best Yo Mama Joke Ever
CAESAR Less User Friendly than MS-DOS
White House to Be Painted Half Black
New NU President Credits Victory to Owning a lot of Purple
Blagojevich’s Barber Resigns
Grover Cleveland Assassination Joke Declared “Too Soon,” Also Factually Incorrect
Grover Cleveland Assassination Joke Declared “Too Soon,” Also Factually Incorrect
Obama Considers ‘85 Bears Defense To Head Homeland Security
Obama Considers ‘85 Bears Defense To Head Homeland Security
Northwestern Women’s Lacrosse Team Turns Water into Wine
EVANSTON—Several members of the Northwestern Women’s Lacrosse Team, who (hopefully) just won their fifth national championship in as many years, are able to turn water into wine and perform other miracles, according to several sources close to the team. “We went to a party to celebrate the championship,” said senior leader Hannah Nielsen, “but it was already dry. Luckily, that’s no problem for us. They fetched us some tap water, and the party really got started.” Attendees of the party

