Author Archives: Andrew Gresik

Vending Machines Stocked In Preparation of 4/20

EVANSTONā€”With April 20th looming, as every year, just on the heels of April 19, vending machines across the country are being restocked and fortified against the impending onslaught of stoners who ā€œcould really go for some Ho-Hos right now.ā€ In dorm buildings and break rooms everywhere, vending machine companies are seeking to prepare themselves for the sudden demand for their services that occurs every year on Hitlerā€™s birthday, knowing full well that insufficient preparation could lead to disaster. It is

NU Students Sue University for Misuse of Word ā€œSpringā€

EVANSTONā€”In a press release issued late last week, a previously unknown coalition of Northwestern students from California and Florida announced that they would be suing the University for ā€œmisuse of the word ā€˜springā€™.ā€ This legal action comes after the discovery that weather during Spring Quarter was neither warm nor sunny. ā€œItā€™s just not fair,ā€ whined a member of the group who spoke to The Flipside on condition of anonymity. ā€œWhen I saw the words ā€˜Spring Quarter,ā€™ I assumed that it

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