BREAKING: Keys Lost!
“Most of the people helping just scanned the ground, but I went straight for the bushes and got down on all fours, because I’m not afraid to do the hard jobs,” said a student helping search for the missing key.
Category Archives: Local
Evanston Congresswoman Arrested for Being a Model Citizen
“Members of Congress are expected to comply with the long-upheld standard of doing nothing right,” said Head of Congressional Security Ron Mullins.
Freshman Method Acting Class Disrupts Traffic
Northwestern students and faculty alike were dismayed Wednesday afternoon to discover a barricade made mainly of desks, chairs, stolen bikes, and Norris at Night giveaway water bottles completely blocking Sheridan Road.
Students Complain about Evanston Residents’ Party
“This is a college town, a place for quiet study nights and no fun whatsoever. I’ve had just about enough of these Evanston residents interfering with my college lifestyle,” said a third-floor resident who wished to remain anonymous.
Cru Converts Student to Christianity, a First-Ever Accomplishment for the Group
Even though Cru’s rate of conversion has always been 0%, Cru has never given up knocking on NU students’ doors. Their mission is to spread awareness of a religion that is already practiced by 80% of the country and that is well-understood by anyone who doesn’t live under a rock.
You Better Fucking Believe There are Girls at This Party, Sources Say
According to sources deep in the heart of the fraternity quad, you better go all-in on that party tonight, because wow, is there some serious babe-age over there.
Yes, I Was Drunk at Convocation. What of It?
I told myself I would only have a couple drinks. Just enough to ease my nerves for the convocation speech, you know? But PTI kept handing me shot after shot. She may not look it, but let me tell you, PTI can really throw it down.
CIA World Factbook: Fitzerland
Official Languages: Bromanian, Keg-tapanese, Coorsican
The Flipside Nominates the 2013 Homecoming Court
As the only satirical newspaper on campus, The Northwestern Flipside feels proud (and obligated) to nominate its first annual Homecoming Court and recognize the most notable members of the Northwestern and surrounding Evanston community.
Weinberg Freshman Drops Out of NU, Hired at Strip Club
“At first I was, like, really excited about college and all,” DeLuca told her advisor. “But then, like, I was in Intro to International Relations and it seemed like I was like, going to have to read a lot. That’s, like, bullshit.”