Halloween, the scariest holiday of the year by a long shot, is widely considered by undergraduate students to be less scary than the constant, looming threat of irreversible failure.
“They had a cool flag and free candy, you know? I looked at their info and thought helping to establish a caliphate might look good on a resume, so I signed up for their listserv.”
Multiple sources confirmed today that a Sexy Morty Schapiro costume is being sold at The Norris Center Bookstore as part of its Halloween promotion.
News broke out today that a Chem 210 midterm allegedly wine-and-dined local Chemical Engineering major Tom Vogel, MEAS ’19, before relentlessly fucking him over.
“You can’t blame receivers for dropping classes,” said offensive coordinator Mick McCall. “We try the best we can to work with them on the fundamentals, but dropped classes are just part of the academic game.”
The inclement weather had only been predicted for several weeks, so the winds and rain took the concert organizers by surprise, and the event was shut down.
I hope you’re doing well and that you’re comfortable sitting at that big table all by yourself. I can see that you like sushi based on the half-eaten Seafood Delight sitting two feet to your right.
“The subjectivity of the selection process as it exists today endorses the objectification of women. Weigh-ins will help give us a more objective way of judging recruits, hopefully leveling the playing field.”
“We’ve been angry with the hypocrisy of mainline Christianity for a very long time, but we can no longer deny our own disregard for God’s true law,” member Steve Drain said.
A recent study published by the Northwestern LGBT Alliance showed shows that the average person is available to discuss LGBT rights for, on average, one minute.