Tag Archives: Minors

SafeRide Driver Purchases Alcohol for Student, Makes Her Wait an Hour to Get It

EVANSTON – A SafeRide driver was recently arrested for delivering alcohol to a minor. According to court documents, the minor in question placed a call to SafeRide at 9:30 PM, and a driver was dispatched approximately 50 minutes later with spirits in hand. According to university officials, such wait times are not uncommon for students using school resources to get wasted. “SafeRide drivers may take hours to accomplish minutes’ worth of tasks,” Northwestern spokesman Al Cubbage explained, “but when you’re

Chilean Government Pledges Alcohol and Cigarettes for Minors in Need

SANTIAGO, CHILE—The Chilean minors have been neglected for months, but with a new government program entitled “No Minor Left Behind” (NMLB), the Chilean government vows to make sure each minor is given essentials that everyone needs: a six-pack of Budweiser and a pack of cigarettes. “It is essential to promote the health and well-being of every citizen, especially the children” commented one government spokesman about NMLB, which looks to be implemented before the year’s end, “By the end of the