Oh shit! This is really shitty music man. How long have I been out here? It’s only 1:34? Man, she’s been singing with that piano for the longest damn time. This music sucks! She’s hot though, so it’s ok. Wait, no, I think I’m starting to lose my buzz. She’s not as attractive now. I’m not as attractive now. Shit. Shit. Shit. Run back to the house, ok, jungle juice…no. Bud light…no. Ah, here it its, Smirnoff [gulp] ahhhhh no
EVANSTON—With students at Northwestern’s hea-a-a-a-a-a-rts already broken in excitement for Regina Spektor, Mayfest announced its second headliner for 2010 Dillo Day: Rabbi Joseph. Famous for songs like “Shabbat Shalom!”, “Dreidel, Dreidel,” and “Give Me a Fucking Break, Palestine,” Rabbi Joseph’s name was a hard-won prize for NU. As with Spektor, Hillel contributed a large portion of their vast funding received through various donations, matzah sales, and Ponzi schemes. At least thirty percent of campus is schvitzing with excitement; many others