Health Standard for Happy-Meal Toys Causes Imports from China to Drop by 90%

SAN FRANCISCO—The Chinese economy recently took a hit due to a new San Francisco law that bans restaurants from giving away toys with any meals deemed unhealthy.

San Francisco, deemed one of America’s 100 fattest cities in 2010 by Men’s Health, immediately put a hold on all imports of Happy Meal toys.

“We already had several warehouses full of toys for local restaurants,” said importer/exporter Art Vandelay. “With the new law, it will take years to get rid of all these toys. We simply had no choice but to stop importing all plastic products from China.”

Due to the enormous amount of fast food consumed in San Francisco, Chinese imports to the entire U.S. dropped by ninety percent.

Clearly, this has economic ramifications for both nations, but China in particular has been left in limbo. “Perhaps we shall take this as a sign we should stop artificially inflating the value of our currency,” said the country’s economic leader, Wen Jiabao, insinuating that the San Francisco law was part of a greater plan to sanction China for its economic policies. “The stress among our oppressed laborers of potentially losing their jobs could cause riots demanding freedom and equal rights.”

Ben Bernanke, Chairman of the Federal Reserve, was not happy either. “This decision will decrease the business fast food franchises receive, resulting in layoffs of working Americans. This recession is not the time to worry about the health of our children.”

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