Football Team Disappointed in Lack of Post-Game Chick-Fil-A

WEST LAFAYETTE ā€” As the Wildcats exited Ross-Ade Stadium following Northwesternā€™s comfortable win over the Boilermakers of Purdue, theĀ employees players appeared sad and almost dejected upon seeing the Taco Bell post-game meal Purdueā€™s Athletic Department had provided them.

Senior captain Brandon Vitabile commented on the unfortunate situation. ā€œI canā€™t believe it. To come all this way only to find out it was all for nothing. We did not run through their waffle fry-esque defense for a Doritos Locos Taco.ā€œ

Some Wildcats were seen searching through Rossā€“Ade Stadium for the elusive post-game Chick-Fil-A meal. Freshman running back Justin Jackson explained his disbelief. ā€œThis is unacceptable. I worked my ass off this week. And for what? Some ground mystery-meat and indigestion? No thank you.ā€

Coach Pat Fitzerald was more furious than disappointed. ā€œAt least Notre Dame had the dignity to feed us Chick-Fil-A following their loss. I had my guys pumped up today. I told them ā€˜set your sights on that homestyle with cheese and donā€™t let anything or anyone get in your way. Trust the Fil-A.ā€™ Purdue showed a real lack of sportsmanship today with their post-game meal. I wouldnā€™t be surprised if the NCAA imposes some serious sanctions on the boilermakers.ā€

In other news, Northwestern Vice President for Athletics Jim Phillips was overheard saying, ā€œThe only post-season bowl game which we will accept a bid to is the Chick-Fil-A bowl.ā€

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