Potential Biden Cabinet: President-Elect Eyeing Skyällsborg, Jill Biden Believes Grönkulla Matches Kitchen Counters Better

Reports from sources familiar with Joe Biden’s transition team have revealed important information regarding the president-elect’s new cabinet. According to these sources, Joe and his wife Jill have taken multiple trips to IKEA, and have narrowed their decision down to two of the ready-to-assemble selections.

Insiders claim the president-elect prefers the Skyällsborg cabinet for its solid pine construction and good record on immigration and national defense. Biden confused reporters with his inability to clarify whether he was talking about a person or furniture, saying “Skyällsborg and I, we were good friends in the Senate. And I’ll tell you what, Jack, he could hold more dishes in him than anyone.”

Jill Biden has her sights set on Grönkulla, believing it to be a more modern-looking cabinet that will match the White House kitchen counters. She said, “When you look at the Trump cabinet, it was a disaster. The shelves kept falling and the hinges broke. What my husband’s administration needs is a strong, modern cabinet that will restore honor to the décor of the White House. I think IKEA has just that cabinet.”

When asked about his cabinet and his trip to IKEA, Biden said, “Thing is, back in my day, back in Dover, the only place a Swede could work was the old bowling alley. Not saying it was right, but that’s how it was. And I was actually the first lifeguard at the swimming pool to say ‘Hey man, why don’t we let these Swedish boys come swim?’ They had never even seen water that wasn’t freezing cold. And nowadays you have whole furniture stores and meatballs that are Swedish. And that’s what this campaign has really been all about.”

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