“It’s sad to see Joe struggle so much,” his wife Dr. Jill commented during the press release. “I don’t know how to tell him he needs to use his magic lollipop booster.”
Tag Archives: Biden
Biden Rejects Student Loan Forgiveness Plan, Salty Because He Just Finished Paying His Student Loans
For decades, Biden has been spotted working weekends at Sunglass Hut, presumably to pick up some extra cash. It is unclear whether or not he will continue working now that his loans are paid off.
Potential Biden Cabinet: President-Elect Eyeing Skyällsborg, Jill Biden Believes Grönkulla Matches Kitchen Counters Better
“Biden confused reporters with his inability to clarify whether he was talking about a person or furniture.”
“I really feel for Ol’ Donald during his period of isolation. I simply cannot imagine a night without the tunes boppin’, a drink in my hand, and a hot wife to rail, much less two weeks! It’s truly a tragedy of our generation.”
“If me and my husband are cute enough to get every conservative state but Alabama to run our wedding on children’s network television, Pete and Chasten are for sure cute enough for any other issues with his platform to just get totally overlooked.”
“Why, back in nineteen-tickety-six if something broke, you fixed it. Simple as that. I don’t see what the hold-up is here,” said Biden. The former vice president then went on to tell a long-winded personal anecdote about his father’s days as a used car salesman.
WASHINGTON — After a recent fire was put out in the West Wing of the White House, investigators found Vice President Biden and Former President Clinton working on a meth lab to help alleviate the United States’ financial woes. The subsequent investigation and closure of the operation revealed unimagined details about the inner workings of the White House. Biden commented, “Listen, I talked to Bernanke, he kept saying a bunch of bullshit about interest rates and bubbles as if I
WASHINGTON — Vice President Joe Biden may have instigated World War III last night during a last-minute campaign stop at Georgetown University. The gaffe-prone politician was delivering a short speech encouraging students to vote when he accidentally declared war on Iran. “We’re still not entirely sure what happened,” White House aide Michael Howard explained. “One minute he’s reading from a prepared statement about the Founding Fathers and the next he’s assembling the Joint Chiefs of Staff to authorize a pre-emptive
After considering all probable consequences on ourselves, on the United States, on the whole world, and most importantly, on The Northwestern Flipside, we are proud to endorse Governor Mitt Romney and Vice President Joe Biden for president and vice president in the 2012 election.
WASHINGTON – President Obama has stated that his views on same sex marriage are “evolving,” culminating in an interview where he announced his support for the practice. The scientific community has since been abuzz looking for theories as to why this transformation occurred. The first main camp contains the gradual evolutionists. Evolutionary Biologist William Smith summarized this position, saying, “Obama has had a long political career and has gradually adapted to a changing environment via natural selection.” He added, “Those