As winter quarter takes its toll, it seems like a great time to take a step back and reflect on how well literally everyone else in the world is doing.
Author Archives: Morgan Frost
When asked how the sleeping arrangements affected their relationship as roommates, the Leighs responded that they are “closer than ever, in a platonic way.”
Even after the mysterious liquid started to drip onto Ockwerd’s Original Macbook Pro, he made no mention of the trail of sludge coating his “Right Twice a Day” handouts.
Chase’s “bro” and unofficial domestic partner Frad added, “And the only ‘hol they even had was Manischewitz. If I wanted to get slightly tipsy and puke up grape juice I woulda just gone to my sister’s bat Mitzvah this weekend like I was supposed to.”
Ask Flippy: Can I Blame My Commitment Issues on Sargent Constantly Running Out Of Sweet, Sweet Ozzis?
I’m sick of making excuses like “I have projectile diarrhea”.
“It’s sad to see Joe struggle so much,” his wife Dr. Jill commented during the press release. “I don’t know how to tell him he needs to use his magic lollipop booster.”
Burnt-Out Senior Joins 200-Level Poetry Class Butt Naked with Poem About the Futility of Higher Education
“Not even a sweatband with his frat’s logo on it to keep his quarantine haircut out of his eyes!”